In negotiation training the most powerful way to interrupt self-defeating behaviors and patterns is to pay forward good things to others without asking or seeking anything in return.

Move # 8 – Paying Forward

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In negotiation training the most powerful way to interrupt self-defeating behaviors and patterns is to pay forward good things to others without asking or seeking anything in return.

In an excellent article, “Why Nurses Chose to Remain in the Workforce: Portraits of Resilience” the authors write:

• “In the context of exposure to significant adversity, resilience is both the capacity of individuals to navigate their way to the psychological, social, cultural, and physical resources that sustain their well-being and their capacity individually and collectively to negotiate for these resources to be provided in culturally meaningful ways. [Emphasis in the original].”

One nurse comments:

“When you get to the position of getting it all sorted out, you think, God I was lucky, gee … I was so lucky, that I was able to do all this, then I’m going to give my luck to someone else, hence when you’re traveling and you meet people that need help, you respond to that help from your abundance. I am not a rich woman by any means but I am richer than 90% of the people that are out there. So I feel very blessed and very lucky. I don’t feel as though I’ve been hard done by (Verbatim).”

The article continues:

The participants found many ways to ‘pay it forward’. Some found that being a mentor to others whether clinically, managerially or academically was like leaving a legacy for the future. Each participant spoke of their nursing experience and of their desire to be able to provide wise counsel to others. Grace says “I did education as well as administration and always thought if I could just inspire one person like … (she) … inspired me then I would have arrived on my journey” (Verbatim). April says “I’d like to be remembered as doing my very best for the people that I have been made responsible for. I hope I’ve improved their life or maintained their life or contributed to their life and their relatives and friends (Verbatim). Vivien also wanted to leave a legacy and explains “I stay in nursing because I want to make a difference, and it’s cheesy but I can see lots of things to improve outcomes for patients. I like to think I can lead by example that I’ve been doing it a long time and that there is no substitute for expertise” (Verbatim).

Next: Move # 9—Creating Your Own Luck – Resilience and Synchronicity